Sunday, June 9, 2013

The post I've been avoiding to write

I've been discontent for a long time now with reading and blogging. I haven't wanted to admit it, but I think that my sporadic blogging has made it apparent that something was up. When I first started blogging, I was much more consistent and passionate about what I was reading and being more involved in the blogosphere. The endless stream of books that came my way (whether it was through word of mouth or through my mailbox) was an exciting adventure and I never grew tired of it.

But then at some point I started not to seek out more books to read, and because of my diminishing interest in reading, I had less to say or blog about. I tried memes, but I grew tired of those and stopped doing them. Rather than fill up my blog posts with empty memes, I opted to not post as often because I would rather post quality than quantity. But that lack of passion for blogging still lingered, and I couldn't shake it off. I tried to by reading more but the more I forced myself to pick up more books, the less books I read and ultimately I was fed up with myself for turning into the kind of reader I never thought I'd be: an inconsistent one. I gave up on books, or put them down even though I was interested in them. I couldn't figure out what was happening with me, and I still don't have an answer for why this is happening.

I haven't wanted to mention this, but after reading Chelle's post (which is much more eloquent than mine, btw) I felt relieved to know that I wasn't alone in this and that it was time to admit it to myself and to my readers. So...I feel like I've disappointed those of you that still come to my site--I've let this long-term burn-out or whatever it is take a hold of me and I haven't been updating as I used to. I'm sorry if I have let any of my readers down--I never meant to do that, but I didn't want to let my discontented feelings take over the blog (hence the prolonged silence on my end). I've toyed with the idea of closing down the site but I don't think I'm quite ready to let go yet; I still want to stick around but I'm still trying to cope with this weird funk I've fallen into. So I won't be making any promises of updating weekly or posting interviews or the like...I don't want to make promises and not keep them. I'm just going to let the blog--and myself--breathe and not force anything for now.

I wonder, has anyone had this happen to them before? Have you experienced long-term burn-out or anything of the sort? How did you pull yourself out of it?


  1. I think after being around as long as we have it happens. Right now, I have been fighting this funk for the last few months hard. I don't want to read. I don't want to review. I just cannot make myself care about this the way I use to.

    For me, I am just taking it day by day and doing what I can. If feel like doing something I will. If not, I don't force it. I know, for me, I don't want to quit.

    So my best advice is do what works for you. And having a blog partner helps a lot too :)

    If you ever need to talk, I am always here for you.

    1. I see my blog partner jumped on this before I did! Yay Kate!

      I think we both have our struggles on and off. There are some weeks I read nothing and review nothing. Other weeks I read 10+ books and review half of them in a day. It's just moods and timing.

      I've been reflecting on life in general lately and I've found myself at a crossroads and think we have many of those in our life. I honestly see myself reading for a lifetime, whether sporadic or not. Blogging is still fun for me and I find new joy in it from time to time. I want to go further with my job and push myself to new extremes and someday soon also get a house and start a family. But it's all about balance.

      Just let life take you where you want it to and you'll be happy. I've learned working ahead when need be helps an awful lot, but I remember when I hated doing anything ahead of time. I wanted to review on the spot and post it that second. Or share my thoughts that day instead of mulling over it for a week or two before scheduling a post.

      If you want to get back into blogging more, I'd say start with reading more blogs, tweeting more often and feeling the community again. Sometimes connections are what motivates us to keep going and being a part of a community.

      I hope my ramblings help!

  2. Yes. Totally.

    For me, that's why I started opening up and blogging more about myself and other things that interest me.

    I hope you stick around. I'll miss you otherwise.

  3. I actually felt similar to this. Well, Chelle's post resonates with me in the way she discusses choices and how blogging suddenly is the choice you aren't making. I feel like BEA did sort of make me energized again. Somehow being reminded of the community makes me more enthused. But it is still hard, especially since it feels like a lot of bloggers who have been around are closing up and feeling that burn out too. I don't know. I don't know what the solution is. My method is usually powering through things, but I don't think there's a universal fix.

  4. I felt totally burnt out a while back, and I took a year off from blogging. It was a difficult choice, but blogging felt like work and was draining instead of fun. In the end it was worth it, because I came back and now blogging is a great way for me to relax from the stress of work. No matter what you do, us followers will totally understand :)

  5. I had this for most of 2012 (my mum was seriously ill) and for all of 2013 bar one month up until the beginning of May when I suddenly felt like reading and blogging again. I didn't push myself and just did it when I wanted to. I think we all get a little burned out sometimes, and we just have to ride it out. I know mine was caused by stress and anxiety, both causing me to have no interest or concentration when it came to reading. I'm happy to say that the interest does eventually come back, and I hope yours doesn't take too long.

  6. Yep, I've experienced this as well. I feel like I haven't been able to catch up with the blogosphere since I moved to Singapore last year - I always get the feeling that I'm behind (which is true, I'm always behind on reviews). I don't let it get to me though. Thankfully, I haven't experienced a reading slump so I'm still enjoying reading, I just haven't been reviewing as much. I don't think you need to apologize to your readers and followers, it's understandable that there are times when you get tired of blogging and you don't have enough energy to come up with new posts. I try to deal with it by trying to do something that will get me excited about blogging again - coming up with a new feature (sometimes about an interest other than reading) or organizing a blog event or talking about some of my favorite books. But it's different for everyone, I don't think there's one solution that will work for all of us.

  7. *hugs*
    I understand. Over the last year I have constantly thought of shutting down my blog because with work being what it is, I just can't seem to read and I hate the pressure I feel to do it. It's sad because I don't want to let go of the blog, but it feels like so much work sometimes.

    And you don't need to apologize! At least you're honest about how you feel. Don't let the blog drain the fun out of reading. *gives cookie*